Min blogg
engellau music - kompositör/musiker/pedagog
Min blogg

maj 2011


Darkness weighs me down, takes all my strength to resist, defend myself. Life watching my fight, but does not judge. Help me to withstand and protect myself. I have the right to love and to choose the light.
The light is present but can not be appreciate when struggling and blindfolded.
Let there be Love!

27 Maj reflektioner

muntlig reflektion av inre dörrar
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Röst improvisation med tankar, inre dörrar och musik ljud.

Learning by doing

Revenge, why do people want that? Feel like I have to fight for my ideas and what I want. They want money but in the end they fool me, I do most of the work and then they get upset when I don´t want to work with them anymore?
Respect, is that so hard?  Feel like I´m not respecetd, music buisness is a mans world, they want money but they don´t want to listen to me.
As if I ´m in the way, a splinter in the eye, a burden, give me your music and fuck off!

Emotional, the emotions rule some of us, make us express our anger without seeing the

Tell me you love me

Should be easy,, animals do it,children do it all the time. Yet so hard, what if no one will love me, what if he turns his back, he leaves, he hurts me? A child would never question their love, we teach them to do that.
Yesterday a dinner with friends and family and the truth that we all face lonliness instead of love yet all we want is to be loved.
A phone call and in a moment of truth he said he loves me but that he can´t, that his love will hurt me.
Why this pain, this constant rejection, the No instead of YES?